Isn't Love Grand?

Someone asked me the rhetorical question recently, "Isn't love grand?". And even though I dismissed their query, the words spun in my head days later. My reply is this.

Yes, love is grand, but only if you can find it and endure it. ! Its not the upward ride, its the downhill slide. What I've learned is that out of all those I thought I loved, I only loved one of them. The rest were obligatory or an excuse to avoid the rest of my life. They were an exercise in comfort. They placated the unhappiness that I was feeling otherwise. A quick fix per say. And when they were over, I was more dissatisfied than I was in the beginning. Love is a learned concept and I never caught on to it until recently. Those others I wouldn't have given my life for. I wouldn't have even given up anything if put to the test. The end result was one less friend. You have to know love to share it with another. How can you give something away, if you don't have it to give? If you've never really learned its value? I grew up without it and so I never knew what it was I was looking for. I looked in all the wrong places and I gave merit to Love where it didn't exist. I mistakenly embraced all the wrong attributes and then cried when I got stung. Although the attributes are different, the concept is the same as loving a child. You give with every ounce of your being and there is no question. Not once do you have to say to yourself "Is this love that I'm feeling?" It isn't questioned, its understood. And you would give without thought. Your very essence is filled to the brim with it and its as comfortable as your skin. It fits and you can't deny it. Love is being able to sit together and not feel the need to entertain. Love doesn't include jealousy because it makes you secure. Love is an answer without the question. Love is giving with no remorse. Love is being able to communicate excitedly and to hear every word and feel their weight even when the words are meaningless. It has many facets, but when it encompasses you, you know it fully.

And when love leaves there is no deeper cut to the soul. It's not a physical ache, it's a sadness and longing so deep within us that one feels there surely is no way to relieve ourselves of it. That it will surely be our death, the pain is so encompassing. It wraps itself within us with tendrils long and clinging. And yet we deny it. Half the battle is the admission that love is gone and we raise our bayonets high above our heads, allowing sorrow to cling just that more tightly.

Would I reflect upon the time that love was a joyous companion, I would not grieve so heavily. Because in the comparison of fulfillment versus heartache, the mere memory of being complete will always make our eyes shine more brightly. And so, I have answered the question, yes, love is grand for I would rather have suffered even one year than nothing at all.

"Because you lie beside me now, I dream of kites and carousels And sleep at peace within myself And fear the night no more..." Robert Sexton

If you experience love just once in your life then it was all worth it, no matter how long love stayed.

But if you are truly blessed you will have love there beside you when you go from this world to the next. Imagine having the comfort of Love's hand holding yours in that moment. If we can leave knowing that we mattered to just one person then we have completed or task. And the words won't need to be spoken, because they will be as clear as our purpose.